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I talk an awful lot of shit for someone who had trouble getting a revolving door to move by herself earlier...
My name is a verb according to my drinking friends.
Every Tuesday is Fat Tuesday in Michigan.
People in New Hampshire need to realize no one knows where New Hampshire is
According to my pill case, I have no idea what day of the week it is.
Tweet contest: Use the word "foreskin" in an inspirational tweet.
Link tweets here. No trophies. No winners. I might not even rt. Fuck off.
Too tired to tweet this morning, so I'll just block people instead.
Got an early Valentine's Day card from my lover - a restraining order that I drew hearts on.
Not to brag, but I couldn't if I tried.
I was bummed out earlier but I got weed so now my problems will go away for good
I'm starting a hotline where I just talk people out of going out to the club
Imagine that, to most other animals, naked humans look as ridiculous as naked mole rats look to you.
I can communicate by interpretive dance as long as I'm still allowed to use my middle fingers.
I don't want you to tell me what I want to hear I want you to genuinely accept my opinion.
I'm really starting to hate some of you.
People showed up!
You're underwhelmed? Let's turn that whelm upside down and get you overwhelmed by golly.
Look, all I'm saying is you hardly ever see a cold shower and a boner in the same room.
The product of my parents bad decisions, Freestyle king (bring it), Detroit bartender badass, THC infused
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