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These old ladies are having a comprehensive conversation about merkins behind me and I'm biting the inside of my mouth so hard to not laugh.
"My coffee tastes like dirt water"
"Then why do you keep drinking it?"
"I don't know!!!" *takes another sip*
Can I tweet cheque jokes yet???
Just found out that "stressed" spelt backwards is desserts.
Don't know about y'all, but looks like it'll be another weakend for me.
Oh you know, having a panic attack because KIDS EVERYWHERE.
I'm eating nuts for lunch. It's... Nuts!
Just came back from chivalry's funeral.
I wonder how any plastic fruit stickers I've eaten in my life.
I swear, some of these "kind regards" are neither kind nor regardful.
Took my shoehorn to the elevator today. So yes, make it a double barista.