Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I wonder how any plastic fruit stickers I've eaten in my life.
I swear, some of these "kind regards" are neither kind nor regardful.
Took my shoehorn to the elevator today. So yes, make it a double barista.
Showed someone a pretty decent photo of myself. He says: "Wow, if I didn't already know you I would actually think you're hot!"
Just sat down in this ramen place and I Will Survive started playing. I feel at home in so many ways right now.
Went to a burger joint that had the worst ventilation earlier. I've gotten 3 compliments on my cologne so far.
Everyone's back from vacation. Feels like the first day of school without the cool new supplies.
Out of the corner of my eye this man was being super rude on a full subway train but turns out he was just fuzzing with his fanny pack.
Holy shit I just found out I had Boston cream all over my chin. Let's just say the imagery was very inappropriate.
Oh man, a really cute guy just got hired. So now I'm the 2nd cutest guy in the office. The rest are women.
My new hair spray smells like cough medicine and it's making me gag.
I just learnt that there's an actual children show called The Day My Butt Went Psycho.
At the end of all my dates they always thank me for making them realize how much they miss their ex. Can I like, trade super powers?