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The subway - colossal metal transport machine - was crippled by the cold; meanwhile, 70%-water humans are to go to work & function fully.
That moment right after the photo is taken and your smile drops back into your usual scornful scowl.
I have so many issues I don't even know which one to commit to!
These old ladies are having a comprehensive conversation about merkins behind me and I'm biting the inside of my mouth so hard to not laugh.
"My coffee tastes like dirt water"
"Then why do you keep drinking it?"
"I don't know!!!" *takes another sip*
Can I tweet cheque jokes yet???
Just found out that "stressed" spelt backwards is desserts.
Don't know about y'all, but looks like it'll be another weakend for me.
Oh you know, having a panic attack because KIDS EVERYWHERE.
I'm eating nuts for lunch. It's... Nuts!
Just came back from chivalry's funeral.
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