The 70's called. They built a time phone.

Three steps to academic respect:
1. Go to library
2. Open all the books
3. Be like 'These are wrong.'

I scream. You scream. We're all screaming. This is awesome.

What if Aliens are just really into our butts? What if humans have the galaxies top butts? Great job everyone.

What am I doing today? Well I forgot my headphones so probably murders.

I apologize sir but we're all out of Mohicans.

'I'm feeling a little horse'.

It's called a pony and I would be more comfortable if you left my farm now sir.

I want a burger or an emotionally satisfying life.

Hot tubs are great for when you want to feel like you are the main ingredient in a soup no one wants.

A Pregnant lady in a sleeping bag is pretty much a turducken to a bear.

I've got a raging hadron. For science.

#TupacHologramOffStage Tupac's Children run to him excitedly, he goes to hug them as they pass through him into Dr. Dre's waiting embrace.

BREAKING: Republican nomination clinched by dog wearing sunglasses who wandered into a debate. Crowd could not stop chanting USA. #PrezDog

If the plot of Fresh Prince had been reversed and Carlton had to go live in Philly it probably would have been on HBO.

This oatmeal is too hot. I hope that means there is a blonde girl in my bed.

The boy who cried wolf should be renamed 'The town who let a little boy be eaten by a wolf to teach him a lesson.'

Guys i am worried we made all the jokes.

Hey I recognize that knife! -Bad things to say in court

I've never been to a group protest but we're all pretty mean to this one girl at work so its pretty much the same thing.

#UnansweredHipHopQuestions What flavour was the milkshake? This is pretty important to me.