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  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Gift @Kingsroc Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 2,148
    • LIKES
    hammeatfrickboycody__Kevin_Number_7vejacksonptkt_sheltshorsehousingclairechiricoTweetsIn_HD
    • 1,767
    • RETWEETS
    avrysdeadchandler_nopepinocchioootherealcotts73PorkUrPineSamleyYelmasIVmikewaldron115danbaker31
    shy_boner__SpaghettiJesuskeplyqOhNoSheTwitntburgerkrangweinerdog4liferare_basementvitaminpvladchoc
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Three steps to academic respect:
    1. Go to library
    2. Open all the books
    3. Be like 'These are wrong.'

    • 709
    • LIKES
    chriscallowjrTavishBellwhimbottressiemcphdtwvancampmacphersonauswsuehousejohnvanderhoef
    • 632
    • RETWEETS
    chriscallowjrkrisshafferriacheyneuswsuehouseJustinPfefferleJessiferslamteacherbcstrubberg
    trash_sleeper
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Congrats on turning 16. Here is a license to drive several tons of metal at high speeds.
    "Thank u I just discovered weed"

    • 459
    • LIKES
    HiK_Byevladchoctrill_sometimesmeganshpettitActualPerson084MaiaMamacitaeastoooneducaz1
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    BigKinky_HannahSativaRaquail69drmayrioturianfucker69troy_likes_milkevanwinter_pomegranLit
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    I scream. You scream. We're all screaming. This is awesome.

    • 397
    • LIKES
    MarkoESQkawlenzhairsid_pinkkomorebihuelilhussyLastMermaid__AaronCT123jessa_marie_______
    • 178
    • RETWEETS
    casciatosid_pinktazjbrlilhussytrash_lizardkeeganttsjessa_marie_______VeldaHamm
    EatingZebras______
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    What if Aliens are just really into our butts? What if humans have the galaxies top butts? Great job everyone.

    • 273
    • LIKES
    botandychristinawilderCountMackulaPretzelNYDanKCharnleyMayginTeaGee_Thats_Dumb____HugeButtGuy______
    • 165
    • RETWEETS
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    chrisjooniorshy_boner__
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    I apologize sir but we're all out of Mohicans.

    • 257
    • LIKES
    salamingiaellessima__nittunisiaspeevischristinawilderCountMackulaDanKCharnleyapostrophebeats
    • 99
    • RETWEETS
    nittunisiatannercpuckettspeevisCountMackulaapostrophebeatsFavstar250hannahsmothers_curran_brian______
    Blarebare
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    What am I doing today? Well I forgot my headphones so probably murders.

    • 273
    • LIKES
    botandychristinawilderCountMackulaAvMoapostrophebeatstnylgn__crylenolFunkPenguin______
    • 79
    • RETWEETS
    daniyasaur__CountMackulasamingtonhaysOddest_GoddessSideBurnykitzahphrenicFavstar250LedTheZep________
    tigersgoroooar
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    'I'm feeling a little horse'.

    It's called a pony and I would be more comfortable if you left my farm now sir.

    • 229
    • LIKES
    botandyCountMackulaDanKCharnleyCordelFintonapostrophebeatstnylgn__kay_dubble__FunkPenguin______
    • 88
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaburgerkrangapostrophebeatsSideBurnyHyperEntitykitzahphrenicChloeGerhardsonSorrySight_
    TheFroyoMonster__
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Hot tubs are great for when you want to feel like you are the main ingredient in a soup no one wants.

    • 190
    • LIKES
    uhohwowdriftingixlandlynchscigarettenikepinksunriseKali_Murabizarrequotes__bambarellamannyv11b
    • 125
    • RETWEETS
    RenzSiniscalchiUnhingedBlahabaldwin_alexcatpineappleChipmunk_chessbotandylaurs_ulrich__CountMackula
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    I want a burger or an emotionally satisfying life.

    • 224
    • LIKES
    botandyCountMackulamattstark127apostrophebeatstnylgn__FunkPenguin______SideBurnyburgerkrang
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
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    Cocaine_Dealer____
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    If the plot of Fresh Prince had been reversed and Carlton had to go live in Philly it probably would have been on HBO.

    • 191
    • LIKES
    botandyCountMackulatammy2lipsFeelinGlayishdragnutzackjmosleyHayyumsKyleTregurtha
    • 109
    • RETWEETS
    MisterAntsCountMackulamisadesumaryburgersnegaversacebananabelleHayleyLeierNachoHombre
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    #TupacHologramOffStage Tupac's Children run to him excitedly, he goes to hug them as they pass through him into Dr. Dre's waiting embrace.

    • 143
    • LIKES
    macjackgregorsunni_labeoufriceysantiedyestarchildMagnumPBJ________saltzeBassoonJokesKevCantHang
    • 154
    • RETWEETS
    JeffPussyAssemHeibaMagnumPBJ________KoktapusLherosdelacoteapostrophebeatsJamieStanWatsonDamnItBenny
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    A Pregnant lady in a sleeping bag is pretty much a turducken to a bear.

    • 179
    • LIKES
    HelloGallopaigew_12diapers_apostrophebeatstnylgn__jefftminstonChrisTrauma5or50
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    mr_opelousassunflowercat_MasonProbablydiapers_mckennajudgeapostrophebeatsobviouseyesredheadfantasee
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    I've got a raging hadron. For science.

    • 220
    • LIKES
    Monicann86CountMackulaapostrophebeatstnylgn__ChrisTraumaSideBurnyburgerkrangdeKenstruction
    • 64
    • RETWEETS
    CountMackulaSideBurnytoots_mahuvamarlespomitnichtenkitzahphrenicVikesh_V__________KayArePea
    vladchoc
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    BREAKING: Republican nomination clinched by dog wearing sunglasses who wandered into a debate. Crowd could not stop chanting USA. #PrezDog

    • 145
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    TheSwanDonCountMackulaapostrophebeatskitzahphrenictnylgn__john_stalvernprofessorspargocolburn918
    • 115
    • RETWEETS
    TheSwanDonCountMackulaitsok2bdumbntwrBuddyNem_MonsieurCleangrumpylibrariankittycat821kiowuh____________
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    The boy who cried wolf should be renamed 'The town who let a little boy be eaten by a wolf to teach him a lesson.'

    • 121
    • LIKES
    RedEidolonhfmezanikepinksunriseflashemberkykymcdnyx00c_frank96grittysurreal
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
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  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Guys i am worried we made all the jokes.

    • 173
    • LIKES
    CountMackularosethoSTOTLEVaguelyFunnyDanAD7863LollyramzlosdrogasiamWillemDafoe
    • 77
    • RETWEETS
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    tastefactorymichael_raphone
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    This oatmeal is too hot. I hope that means there is a blonde girl in my bed.

    • 180
    • LIKES
    botandyCountMackulaapostrophebeatstnylgn__jefftminstontayloraprewittwittischism__SideBurny
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    NottaBigDealCooperDoog________
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    *A montage where I don't get any better over time*

    • 164
    • LIKES
    benniferjoyersbotandyCountMackulaluluevelinathefakeshenryfroghammerFourEyedQueefcackle_hag__
    • 70
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    Mickey_McCauley
  • Kingsroc
      Kristian @Kingsroc

    Hey I recognize that knife! -Bad things to say in court

    • 173
    • LIKES
    nojiveturkeyhellobaphomet____my_awful_brainbotandyCountMackulameat_tornado_tnylgn__jefftminston
    • 52
    • RETWEETS
    botandyCountMackulaWeldonWasTaken____mitnichtenmissyokiefischycaitieehBigfish1960TessAguiar
@Kingsroc

@Kingsroc

I will use Twitter however I like and no lawyer on earth may stop me.

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