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Christians, Mom and everyone else who needs to know it... scaring people with religion is not the answer, it's not the way.
Tootsie Rolls are fuckin' whack. They ain't real chocolate. It's just the constellation prize of candy in general. Like thanks but no thanks
This Jack in the Box commercial said make a late night food-y call... That is funny hahaha y'all know I'm a sucker for corny but clever puns
The chick who threw flour on Kim K... you are my homie lover friend. Marry me. I promise it will last longer than 72 days.
Simply knowing I have the power is more satisfying for me than abusing it.
I dunno, it takes a special white guy to get me feeling something. Most of them I just use for directions to the nearest H&M
Why do people tell me not to go to the gym looking for a man? If I had a man I'd cancel my fucking membership and eat Cheeto puffs all day!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it, lick my vaj.
Social media is just awful...
Oh hey I reached 10,000 tweets. Proving my life to be as unproductive as it seems.
A gift like mine can't really be explained but it can be felt and enjoyed, so why don't we just do that