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The gay community would never destroy our social fabric, they would take that fabric and make something fabulous.
NZ tweeters, this may not be the election result you wanted, but be proud. This is still our country and it's still a great country.
Hey New Zealand, quick huddle, everyone come in. Ok, let's not become the next America or Australia. Cool, good chat.
Don't mock us with your bullshit 'Max strength' cold and flu meds, we remember pseudo-ephedrine.
No matter what happens on Saturday, at least we can be thankful that Tony Abbot will not be our Prime Minister.
Can't wait for #theridges tribal council where Jamie gets confused and votes herself off the island.
Can't believe people are upset at my suggestion that we should educate prisoners. I don't punish my children, I teach them. It's that simple
"Can I make a dental appointment for tomorrow?"
Her: "Is 2:30 ok?"
"Is that a joke?"
"Yes, 2:30 is perfect, thanks."
Where the fuck is Foxton?
Tramadol: Take one for severe pain. Take two before a family gathering.
In political news, I'm about to announce the line up for my new drinks cabinet. Tequila set to be the big loser after last weekend's events.
If Ebola comes to New Zealand, just get the Black Caps to help out.
Those guys can't catch anything.
Dear men ringing up talkback saying that women shouldn't breast feed in public, don't.
If you vote, you get a sticker. OH MY GOD, A FREE STICKER! I LOVE STICKERS, OUTTA MY WAY!
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