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I drink until I have an excuse to start drinking.
My gift for you this year is remembering your actual birthday. I hope you like it.
Totally aced an online 'how modest are you' test. Suck on that, bitches!
I used to have a book on how to deal with loss. I can't find it.
"One day, this quote will make me famous." - anonymous.
If I can make it to 2019 without spending money, I should be fine.
It's lonely at the bottom too.
I need you like parasites need a host.
Loving you is easy 'cause you're pitiful.
No thanks, I'm not hungry, I drink.
'I can't complain' - terrible mime.
A trapdoor welcome mat.
I still don't know whether to be indecisive or not.
I will always be there for you, way, way over there.
My life story is quite boring, you can find my autobiography in the sigh-fi section.
Nothing ruins my weekend more than realizing it's tuesday.
I remember a simpler time before the internet when we used to get shit done.
When will you people run out of shit to say?
*fucks everything up
Demotivational speaker, in need of shoes. Undertakers dig me. http://favstar.fm/users/Kobbejaeger/recent
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