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Nothing ruins my weekend more than realizing it's tuesday.
I remember a simpler time before the internet when we used to get shit done.
When will you people run out of shit to say?
*fucks everything up
I think I might like you but unfortunately this is the internet so you can go fuck yourself.
The great thing about being an adult is that I can wear whatever the wife wants me to wear.
It was all bullshit, but I meant every word.
Those chair lifts for stairs drive me up the fucking wall.
I'm saving myself for marriage counseling.
I love your passion for life. Blocked.
Meet me in the library, bring the rope.
Words cannot express how bad I am at explaining stuff.
I have a short attention spatula.
Here's where I leave my words to rot.
If I had something brilliant to say I would have said it already.
I'm the kind of guy you can take home to your mom
to piss her off.
Like a dirty magazine, we ought to stick together.
Excuse me, you're blocking my happiness.
I missed you
and now that you're back
I miss your absence
Demotivational speaker, in need of shoes. Undertakers dig me. http://favstar.fm/users/Kobbejaeger/recent