Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
I just punched myself in the balls while putting on socks, if you were wondering how this beautiful day will pan out.
You say anagram, I say graaamn.
I'll never give up quitting.
I have to walk in the fucking rain for 8 hours a day, excuse me if I don't give a fuck about the air-conditioning problem at your office.
This high is a new low.
Don't worry about being single, one day you'll get your chance to make someone completely miserable.
Only on twitter can a dick joke spark a religious discussion.
Sorry again for masturbating, God.
History retweets itself.
I spend my weekends dreading next week.
I have nobody to blame for my self-pity but you.
Not now kids, daddy needs one of those happy cigarettes first.
I accidentally starred your tweet, it won't happen again.
Let's not ruin the weekend by doing something fun.
The great thing about misanthrope anonymous is that we never have meetings.
I'll always be there for you.
Way, way over there.
On twitter for three years, out of tweets for four years.
If you get any of my references, you're old as fuck.
The wife and I have a Sid & Nancy kind of relationship.
As a conflicted humanitarian I love people almost as much as I hate their fucking guts.
Demotivational speaker, in need of shoes. Undertakers dig me. http://favstar.fm/users/Kobbejaeger/recent