@rare_basement The friendzone is the safest place to be in a hurricane.

@billcorbett OH MY GOD MANNA IS MADE OF PEOPLE

Wait, don't the 49ers all have lights on their helmets?

I want Cee-Lo Green to show up on Sesame Street and sing a song about politeness called "Thank You!"

@dudehugs @rare_basement If it's a boy: Evan. If it's a girl: Escence.

@yugiohtas THIS SUMMER, ONE MAN WILL MAKE HIS MOST DEADLY MISTAKE: A KITTEN THAT IS LETHALLY CUDDLY.

I'M CAPTAIN BASCH VON RONSENBERG OF DALMASCA! DON'T BELIEVE ONDORE'S LIES PLS RT #FF12

@rare_basement Music I love even though it once stole my car and drove it into a river

@malki "Due to the presence of libraries, no writer or book pulbisher has ever made a profit off a book."

Isn't attacking Big Bird an instant failure on the Voight-Kampf test?

Enterprise engine room. Bottle of Tide manifests within warp core. Geordi removes VISOR, sheds a single tear. #RejectedTideAdCampaigns

People who masturbate satyrs are panhandlers. #terriblepun

Tom Selleck can detach his mustache and throw it like a boomerang. #TomSellecksMustache

@nedroid We Bought a Zoo 2: Electric Zoogaloo

I'm going to pretend that Hippie NASA Dude is Jim Henson. #Curiosity

.@mkupperman Other unpopular sequels include "I'll Teach An Otter The Meaning Of Loss" and "I'll Show That Badger The Life Of The Mind"

@paulandstorm *Imperial march sung entirely in "nom"s*

Sleep is clawing at me with its velvet-scented talons, and so off I go to submit to its strange demands. #tfgtb

@kcgreenn Aw man I could go for hell of scooby snacks right now

Gamermom teaching her kids Pattycake with the Konami Code