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Who are these sick fuck couples with shared email accounts?
Does this condom make me look fat?
And by giving you "breakfast in bed." I mean I'm going down on you
I drive the same way I make love: hard, fast, angry and with no regard for human life or property damage
There's never a perfect time to ask for forgiveness......but after she's had a few glasses of wine is a good start
Riding a title-wave of vodka on a surfboard of I don't care
Marital sex, about as electrifying as licking a six year old 9-volt battery
Canadian Gilligan stuck on a tropical island. If you find me dead on the side of the road don't bother doing an autopsy. It was alcohol and awesomeness
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