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Boobs jiggle when girls laugh, fellas
So be funny
Dear woman that complain constantly about your boob size,
Men like boobs of all sorts !!
Ya know what men hate?
WOMEN WHO COMPLAIN
Retweeting = you're hilarious
Favoriting = you're hilarious but I don't want people to know I follow a weirdo like you
Any time someone says "have you seen that YouTube video?"
I always say yes......... Because otherwise they make you watch it on their phone
I think I’m at my hottest when I’m wasted and see myself in a bar bathroom mirror
Good girls bend at the knees, bad girls bend at the waist
The people you need in your life are the ones that appreciate you in theirs
No one feels bad for you when you’re a shitty person. No matter how you spin your sob story
I love kids...But stop making me hold your baby. Why are you letting people touch your new born?!?
I don't let people touch my new iPhone
Apologizing when you’re wrong doesn’t make you weak. The fact that you’re too much of an ass to see that you’re wrong makes you weak
A beautiful girl looks ugly when she’s with a guy who doesn’t appreciate her
Hey skinny girls whining you’re fat… at least your brain weighs nothing
Some talents you just can’t put on a resumé
Why must every in invite extended to me include the phrase "Will you behave?"
So the judgmental people at Sears don't like it when you sit on top of their washing machines set on high to test them
Naming your fantasy football team something awesome is more important than the names you bestow upon your children
Being psycho is a females greatest survival skill
I don't care what your sign is... Just tell me what sports teams you support
I think like a boy & look like a girl I survived being a sports talk radio show host All Denver sports, all the time!
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