''Baby is it in?'' ''Yeah...'' ''Does it hurt?'' ''Uhuh...'' ''Try putting in slowly'' ''Still hurts..'' ''Let's try a different shoe size''

#highschooltaughtme to raise my hand if i've ever been personally victimized by Taylor Swift.

OHAI. @thatswift. Did you know I gave @therobpattz the best blowjob ever? BECAUSE I DID. Kbye.

@therobpattz Cum here baby.

OHMYGOD. I love you. @vannnyhudgens

Thanks to you blondie, my muffin is getting stupid-er. Lmfao Dx @therobpattz @thatswift

@thatswift ಠ_ಠ

I was about to unfollow @joejonars and then l realize he's the idiot who ate my pussy cat and fucks my daughter. :D!

STAR WARS. RT @therobpattz @thatswift I am your father.

So l get on right? And l find these two @kst3w4rt @robcrtpattinson fighting for who loves each other more... I hate you the most! :D I WON.

I have to say I belong with @thatswift, and she was enchanted to meet me.

I scare @salutlautner. That's hard. He doesn't get scared easily. I mean, he's used to seeing his own self every morning.

I just told Lautner I wanna have sex tonight. THIS IS WHY I LOVE MY FRIENDS.

I MISS @salutlautner. The bastard doesn't get on.

@therobpattz ................ But my tongue's yours.

WHERE'S @salutlautner. GET ON. ): Tear tear.

Wanna join? RT @therobpattz What? RT @kristcnstcw: @mircndakerr @thatswift I'll give you both one. TAKE OUT THE DICKS BBYS.

@mircndakerr @thatswift I'll give you both one. TAKE OUT THE DICKS BBYS.

@therobpattz Okay, you make smile like you when I gave you a blowjob.

@therobpattz I make you..... what, love?