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"@tequilatears: Every time a house phone rings, a grandma gets her wings."
@mrwordsworth. Xzibit just came.
"@krittyshitty: It's so cute when kids shut the hell up."
"@dukeofoyl: I tossed out my furniture, guess you'll have to sit on my lap."
"@countrockula: I'm 0 for 145 at pulling random books on people's bookcases and having it lead to a secret passageway."
@ohnoshetwitnt keep her following and lawlz at her lol
"@licoricenipples: Look, I don't care what you have heard but us fat people do get cold."
@montaukmonster1 gotta use sawing motions, man.
My pandora is playing "don't stop believin'" so if anyone wants to start a flash mob I'm down.
“@mansermatt: Moammar Gadhafi has been killed. Or as Fox News put it, "President Obama Puts American Forces in Libya Out of a Job."”
"@thetweetofgod: 31 exotic animals are roaming free in rural Ohio. Along with tens of thousands of rural Ohioans."
“@_odlanyer: I don't know how that got in there. *shifty eyes*-Me, explaining half the music in my iTunes.”
“@kramediggles: How totally pissed would you be if someone tapped you on the shoulder & it was that dick Jafar from Aladdin” lmao
“@belatedbastard: I'm so hood that some days I have to look into the mirror just to make sure that I'm not black.” same her dawg
"@lisafarted: I'm starting to worry. My husband hasn't been very suspicious of me at all lately." I love this lol
Dear @thetweetofgod why the f did you make me so short, and seriously what is up with my pig nose? You are a dick!
Stats can't be shown as @KtizzleFTW has never signed in to Favstar.