Just robbed a bank. Now the question is what do I do with all this sperm.

I wonder if Satan ever gets tired of getting Xmas letters from dyslexic kids.

Do some girls actually enjoy anal? Because that would totally ruin it for me

I like to re-rape rape victims a few days after they've been raped. just when they start coming to terms with what happened BAM!! rape time!

If you pour toco bell sauce on ramen noodles it tastes exactly like poverty.

Jack and Jill went up the hill so Jack could lick her candy. Jack got a shock and a mouthful of cock because Jill's real name was Randy.

If you've never had the urge to get a midget drunk and carry him like a baby you can't be trusted.

Is it still considered rape if she has an orgasm?

I hear wearing affliction and Ed hardy gear is a way to discreetly tell other dudes your'e down to suck a little dick on the DL

What's the best way to ask your doctor to add another finger during a prostate exam?

Women, did u know that u can actually put the toilet seat down yourself using a fraction of the energy u currently expend bitching about it?

Showing your dick to a girl on the Internet is pretty much how you greet them. It's like saying "nice to meat you"

If grampa doesn't start eating pineapple I'm going stop letting him cum in my mouth. :(

I bang heroin straight into my dick vein, you guys.

I bleach my asshole because I can't stand the idea of any part of my skin being minority colored.

A man using Apple maps walks into a bar, or maybe a hotel, or possibly a church.

Turns out shoving a finger up a cat's vagina is harder than I thought.

There is no R in the word ass you silly British faggots.

I was thinking tonight would be the perfect night to slaughter a family of 5. All their neighbors would assume the gunshots are fireworks.

My signature move is impregnating your 16 year old daughter.