“@uberfacts: Lions sometimes mate over 50 times in a single day.” we gonna butt fuck some eagles tommorow

@scott_stump in the first lacrosse game in Middletown North history we won 7-2 against Middletown South, that deserves a retweet

Who is Eric Clapton...

“@uberfacts: Male dolphins have been known to separate female dolphins from their families and deny them food until they agree to mate.”

@drunkjock you couldn't sound like anymore of a scumbag

Honestly thought Eric Clapton was a skateboarder

So can I use "I was trying to find Kara" as a no homework excuse tommorow

“@uberfacts: According to IMDB, Snoop Dogg has an IQ of 147, which is considered to be "highly gifted-genius" level.” Snoop Lion*

“@uberfacts: Male dolphins flaunt their authority by forcefully raping other male dolphins.” ..... #FinsUp

I need Julio Jones to do really bad if I want to win, just to clarify.

I really hate Cromartie

#embarassyourbestfriend @jennaapel http://t.co/pDcRntHc

I am so interested in Amanda's food choices Chris.

"Sister carolllllll, John scissor kicked me"-EJ

Alex Morgan defines perfect

“@drunkbarney: WHICH ACCOUNT IS GOING TO TELL THE JOKE FATHERS DAY IS THE MOST CONFUSING DAY IN THE HOOD?” @absof_stone beat them to it

“@elizabethgoeric: @kylejimenez2 ahahhahahahahhahahahahahah ýoure a joke #everygirlsabitch” who are you?? Shut up

@douchebwilson your tweets are hysterical

@thefakeespn Hey it's better then having Jonathan Papelbon try to close out the games.

Goodluck to the North Varsity Lions tonight! Pull this one out you got this shit eeeeeasy #NorthNation