@laurenlankford let me help you. Guys: always pay on the first date #dateright

So excited I could pee myself!

"The power of the relationship lies in the hands of the partner who is interested the least"

There is nothing more disappointing than seeing a beautiful woman and wanting to stab your own eye after talking with her.

@mouthymess quite the family convo

@smartgirlfriend looks like we're both making a Twitter comback

@ssdated well remember, i've seen above the bust line.

@ssdated can't be friends with people who want to bang you

@rachspan too bad we can't skype food.

In a weird "not tired to sleep" stage but "tired enough to be less than productive."

If a girl says "I'm not looking for a relationship right now" or "I'm busy with work" that means NO to you but maybe YES to the right guy?

when i'm waiting for a public bathroom and i wait for more than 2 minutes, i get really scared. #whatsgoingoninthere

@smartgirlfriend Derek Jeter has some serious competition

great video by @unaccomplished http://bit.ly/fVM1ns

Why am I single? @match can tell you http://bit.ly/hiAxNi

RT @shaunastacy: MILLION-DOLLAR IDEA: Twitter Dating : http://t.co/lSQdO7r via @businessinsider

I am much more excited about Captain America than I am Thor.

Why dating sucks in LA http://bit.ly/gvnXwT

To appear smart at a coffee shop: write in tiny font, write quickly, throw in the occasional graph, add Xs & Ys, groan & run hand thru hair

planning nye logistics..."let's just get 40s and chill" "we're 27 and middle class, we're not drinking 40s"