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Fuck you for making me tear up, cheerful swimming teen.
"It's not that big people shouldn't love themselves...[it's that they're hideous and no one else will love them.]" --Jenny Craig commercial
To be considered a hero in America:
1) Witness something horrible
2) Do a TV interview
I'm trying out this thing where I'm "leaving my house" and "doing stuff." So I'm at a restaurant on the internet rather than on my couch.
Atheist tweet: It's annoying when people ask that you pray for victims of Sandy. Didn't "God" cause Sandy? Religion makes no sense to me.
"If you're a teenager, now is the time to be fearless about fashion!" --lady on The View who was apparently never made fun of in high school
Hilary Swank's litte bro: "My mom! She's...bleeeeeeeddddiiinnng!"
Watching the Seacrest Kardashian interview. My only question is, why are Ryan Seacrest's lips so red?
Never trust a mustachioed man in a Lifetime movie. OK, any man really.
Jennifer Boudinot's snarky live tweets about Lifetime movies in progress. Find full movie reviews at http://LifetimeMovieReviews.com and @HuffPostComedy