Making a mountain of nachos and calling it "dinner" is one of the better things about adulthood.

If you throw bottles at pd/fd, do not be surprised when you get a baton to the abdomen. Don't be a dick, SF. That's my family working.

When Verne leaves the SEC on CBS set he puts on a pointy hat and spends the rest of the week as a garden gnome, right? #roundlittleman

If you like baseball memorabilia and supporting causes, @bmccarthy32 & wife have an auction up: http://t.co/nu3aPDjm

My mom & stepdad are watching fast & furious series from start to finish. A) are you SURE I wasn't adopted? B) @erinscafe would be 'proud'.

@humidbeing now picturing t-Rex milking a cow, laughing.

@humidbeing I'm starting to think twitter exists for you. “@whattodowithapi: DON'T BE SAD. THERE'S ALWAYS PIZZA”

Hollywood once wanted you to suspend your disbelief to Blake Lively being a fighter pilot. So much giggling remembering this. #greenlantern

@whyofcorso I'm #drunj ins bar. You're ruining my divorce atty street cred.

Oh SF. Where even your hockey rinks smell like weed. #sfbulls

@humidbeing please do not use my favorite mythical deity in the same sentence with anything related to CBS. I can't handle it.

Well that was a beautiful freaking punt, Brad. #LSU

My mom may not understand my college football habit but she needlepointed me this. trying to decide on eye color now http://t.co/hdRyf7vP

@humidbeing same face I make on the topic.

there are no actual Irish people watching this game “@burritobrosshit: 'Americans are a strange bunch.' - Irish people watching this game”

Amen RT @ladymisskate (Pitchers and catchers report February 18th) #sfgiants

Everyone my age EVER about that PSA RT @robdelaney: Wait, my brain on drugs is a tasty breakfast of fried eggs? What's wrong with that?

God love you & your curls, mason. #corn #lsu

Hooollllleeeee gggeeeerzzzuuuusss. #lsu

What. A. Play. God I love @lsubaseball. (This may be the beer talking.)