Why did you have two more kids after the first came out looking like that?

There should be a "fuck you" star.

If you're going to put something in someone's ass...I have found it's best to just surprise them.

if you're having a good day...fuck you is all I have to say.

if you don't shave ur balls...don't expect anyone to lick them.

There should be a single parent's discount at the liquor store.

When you double wash your sheets because of the wet spot...he's a keeper.

I can't wait for "hide your fat under a hoodie" season.

Pretty sure the only thing I am good for is carrying around these boobs all day.

The only time you should not be kissing my ass...is if you are licking it.

If my tits were bigger I would get way more stars on this shit.

Thinking about changing my avi to titties and start tweeting about being a complete whore and see if I can get 1000 followers in a day.

DON'T HANG UP ON ME WHEN I'M YELLING AT YOU!!!!

Just cleaned the bathroom floors...so the boys in my house have somewhere clean to piss.

Apparently sucking a guys dick does get you #FF.

If you don't hate me...wait a few seconds. I will give you a damn good reason.

Better catch up on handing out stars to a bunch of assholes who never give me any.

Awe it's so cute how you think I give a fuck about what's coming out of your mouth.

I don't see why having your panties in a wad is such a bad thing.

My boyfriend wants titties with a side of vagina for dinner. I have been in this store for 2 hours, can't find either one of them, SHIT!