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Okay, we shall bug you no longer
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Gift @Lamplified Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 731
    • FAVS
    Vice_QueenfillthevacuumtealbluejaysralignikstylesPatWallacejustwanttobeme3redpawn3
    • 398
    • RETWEETS
    fillthevacuumtealbluejayiSlut_MrTallPaul1GrumpyBahrVirgoSherryRazor_Reborn__E_lok44
    Katurdays__ButtonsPusher____
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    you can usually tell based on the number of pillows on a woman's bed if she's crazy.

    • 599
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalAnnieMumfieCarrawayswayPeachyPixel8Vice_Queenfillthevacuumnikstyleska_mwana
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    style_seVice_Queenfillthevacuumsimply_carrotTwiterHeroNoWii82VirgoSherryJenPark1219
    VirgoSherryInkdhawaiianchopper4jkinmynewskinHeyitsLori
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    i just did some push-ups. they were actually failed attempts at getting up from the floor, but they count.

    • 546
    • FAVS
    Misskeke12cuntrystronggalBradthemailmandianna92345fillthevacuumSondraDeeMeWhoopdeedoo22DearAuntAbby
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    cuntrystronggalfillthevacuumDearAuntAbbyMiniwheats2012jrb_85JulesC70jnrbtsn__________theMorganHolmes
    daplusk
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Twitter is scrapbooking for alcoholics.

    • 423
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalheroinsdemiseVice_QueenCursitivityChipKellysBallsfillthevacuumDearAuntAbbyBamKnox
    • 239
    • RETWEETS
    Vice_QueenCursitivityfillthevacuumxbabygurl007x__Miniwheats2012dumpgirlzmae_hemmJizzeemoto
    chopper4jk_Friday_XIIIStephenBCramer__
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    My favorite sex tape is duct.

    • 428
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalKenblazedfillthevacuumnikstylessmokeymccheefocarriebas111officersexxxyrldavis1969
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    fillthevacuumBitterBeerFace9The_GetawayGirljenp33333GetongaclosefarhereWayne_Bruce_Nahdude83
    the_anastasiaNorthernMagic____
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    You'd think that with as much time as women spend looking at their ass in the mirror they would be able to reverse into a parking spot.

    • 375
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggaldianna92345fillthevacuumWhoopdeedoo22jenp33333DearAuntAbbybeatricemugCubanB1987
    • 149
    • RETWEETS
    Ellelouisegirlfillthevacuumjenp33333Miniwheats2012bullitt6454lorip33Fernyloveyoubreadman13wjs
    rendezbooze______
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    "I want something we can put on people's heads that will signify to the world they are an idiot." -bluetooth inventor.

    • 328
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggaldianna92345fillthevacuumjan_rtrharryhashtaggerJakkobWainTLchDer367lillyvgp
    • 135
    • RETWEETS
    fillthevacuummal_reneemaly93JakkobWainMiniwheats2012JulesC70jnrbtsn__________IEatChawal
    007Rex_Inc
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Whenever I'm looking for my keys I secretly hope I don't find Jesus.

    • 327
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalnikstylesjnrbtsn__________IEatChawaldrunkNnaughtyfavamp__MonaJean84__Lexiedeadpool
    • 82
    • RETWEETS
    IEatChawalLexiedeadpooltumblrtxtpsts__aaronupMs612__Twitmytweetiesjoshimitsu96benerdist
    DickensnycNorthernMagic____
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    If you've never used a twizzler as a straw consider yourself dead to me.

    • 301
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalDearAuntAbbyjnrbtsn__________MacKoolioIEatChawaldrunkNnaughtyfavamp__MonaJean84__
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    TwitmytweetiesAdrianYoung10RandomRamblrohcountryroadspdxjohnny99scottthetwat______marcia_beeJanelivecrew
    FreeDriftwood
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    I hate when I turn off my computer then remember I haven't masturbated yet.

    • 271
    • FAVS
    owendesaichapmanj100cuntrystronggalnikstylesjenp33333CrackedIllusionjrb_85fitty06
    • 101
    • RETWEETS
    ladybugconquerchapmanj100cuntrystronggalRambleOfaReeferfitty06jnrbtsn__________masonic_templeHeroineAddict
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Does this microwaved meal make me look single? How about the fact that I had to wash a fork to eat it?

    • 278
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalMiniwheats2012DearAuntAbbyFrancisJGordenbklynmike3protolaliajnrbtsn__________MacKoolio
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    bullitt6454fitty06MissRachaelJoyjnrbtsn__________IEatChawalHeroineAddictselenajmittonaaronup
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Liquor store clerk: "That's enough alcohol to kill a person."

    Me: "Lol, a normal person maybe."

    • 238
    • FAVS
    DrFapFapcuntrystronggaljnrbtsn__________MacKoolioIEatChawal1911Fan1fugee37clintgil
    • 126
    • RETWEETS
    cuntrystronggaljacobsfriends35drunkNnaughtyQueefTornadoBilll92495674__Edie_Is_DeadmsrojacksTwitmytweeties
    scottthetwat______
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    If you're falling, just say fuck it and swan dive that shit.

    • 217
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalBipolarSays1ritasandsarcasmSangeetaCRaneBettyBSpaghettiCruisinSoozanbobw1otiffalatte
    • 134
    • RETWEETS
    ShettyONTHErunHonest_Soul37CruisinSoozanVice_Queenangelamweber__IEatChawalMonaJean84__aaronup
    leftys_corner
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    A panic room is just a section of your bathroom floor where you lay in the fetal position and hold yourself while you cry, right?

    • 270
    • FAVS
    SunOfNonecuntrystronggalBardenMscydnizoiZirconpartial__heartlessliePaulliwagMiniwheats2012
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    cuntrystronggalcydnizoiZirconpartial__heartlesslieNasir_xy__SumbodyShootMeMiniwheats2012MadDamMusic
    BelvAndBourb
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    You'd think we would be able to charge our phones on the power of a woman's sigh alone by now.

    • 257
    • FAVS
    Zen_fluoussarrleessargentoFirpoBeer4AGoodTimecuntrystronggalVice_Queenjkstillslaurayocom
    • 92
    • RETWEETS
    Zen_fluouslaurdoveBeer4AGoodTimebenittto8lordeandsaviorFavstar250whrthebrainrots__breadman13wjs
    AdornedChaos__
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    What's that word for when you have too much human social interaction? Homicidal, yeah that's it.

    • 242
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggaljnrbtsn__________drunkNnaughtyfavamp__MonaJean84__jenp33333ConorMWalshmrt1m
    • 89
    • RETWEETS
    cuntrystronggalMs612__TwitmytweetiesHmSafiyahardnosehighwayKansas_loveGlamorusGranselim_
    silent_musings
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    I blame alcohol for most of my followers.

    • 248
    • FAVS
    ImTheOnlyMikelashaetweetscuntrystronggaljnrbtsn__________MacKoolioB0nrMunkyAronMorrisdrunkNnaughty
    • 81
    • RETWEETS
    ImTheOnlyMikecuntrystronggaldrunkNnaughtyjenp33333xMdmadaMxrosemarybreadCrissyFlorencia__Twitmytweeties
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    If you love something set it free. Unless it's nachos, never let go of your nachos.

    • 196
    • FAVS
    JustHazyangelheliasicknstonedsargentoFirpoWickedRapunzelPhoenix_DustCurly_gurl135punkprincess077
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    Beer4AGoodTimeWickedRapunzelCurly_gurl135punkprincess077TwitJazzTherapyAndLive2LoveDrFapFapcuntrystronggal
    garrettn
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    Do not mix with alcohol warnings are just adorable.

    • 195
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalMVamptressGetongahazelmotes1KartikDharFrameworkAutocoChrissiPerrouxopenchakra
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    MVamptressGetongaNahdude83djulie1960_whatever88______NickyValentineCharsiBhangiJenny4ashley
  • Lamplified
      failure @Lamplified

    I put on my pants just like everyone else. Only when the doorbell rings.

    • 201
    • FAVS
    cuntrystronggalnikstylesTheShakeMeisterMjChanskiHiddleDeeDeeprotolaliatweetJill22jnrbtsn__________
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    bullitt6454MjChanskiHiddleDeeDeejnrbtsn__________Ms612__WineyBeach78______teafani_xo__BaileyCram
    not_liberal
@Lamplified

@Lamplified

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