To everyone who tweeted #NameYorDickAfterAMovie and #NameYourVaginaAfterAMovie …. http://t.co/lX5pWAW3

S/o to all those athletes signing tomorrow! #LiveToGrind @athleteswag

Top 5 trends on twitter: 1. "Nothing to wear" 2. "New Years kiss" 3. "New year same shit" 4. "Don't drink and drive" 5. "I'm at the mall"

Drug testing those on welfare. #Finally

2 days.. 14 periods.. 12 hours.. 720 minutes..

RT if you like big butts and you cannot lie.

Flood warning and a freezing rain warning?! Where's my 2 hour delay warning?!

Dumped some litmus paper on your bitch and it all turned blue cause she basic as fuck.

#HowIMetMyBestFriend my parents picked her out from the mattress store. I came home and saw her atop the bed frame, glorious and shimmering.

After hearing stories and seeing pictures of what went down last night... pic.twitter.com/0tNjFVTT

I FOUND @h_merzy FUTURE SELF ON TV!!! #Doppelgänger pic.twitter.com/DeJW3rpr

Prepare for Lakers band wagoners… #Truth

Roses are red, violets are blue, I want school to end, because it's fucking stupid.

Prayers for @westonpainter99 and that rebellious knee of his! #PantherCountry

IM SO FUCKING PSYCHED FOR SNIDER FUCKING FOOTBALL TOMORROW FUCKING NIGHT AND 7 FUCKING O'CLOCK! SNIDER FUCKING FB ALL DAY!!!!

I touch Meredith's hand like 20 times a day and she never tweets about it.. #UnnoticedBoyfriendProblems

I heard snider football isn't winning state this year? #ShitNobodySays

THE KRUSTY KRAB PIZZA, IS THE PIZZA, FOR YOU AND ME

#ThingsThatEnrageDemocrats http://t.co/GAw57UhQ

When you get a bladder infection... Urine trouble