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want to see how quickly someone will wash their car? instead of writing "wash me" on the back window, write "pedophile"
let's start calling underwear what it really is: pee sponge
I eat farts so my farts smell extra farty
wait, what if I'M the asshole?!?
Siri, do my taxes
dudes, remember when executing a proper bro-hug to make sure your penises touch through your pants
i would have known by now if I was the messiah, right?
don't know much about wine? to sound smart, say mmmm tastes grapey. (works with every type of wine)
you'd think my favorite train car would be the caboose but you'd be wrong, it's the tittycar
I just let a lil gas escape my butthole. try it, it's fun!
here's the church, here's the steeple, open the door and this is where the priest touched and molested me
you know how you can drive for miles and miles and not remember how you got there? that just happened to me with my whole life
can't we just BOTH be on the bottom?!?
twitter: exorcising the demons one tweet at a time
I learned all I know about sex by watching my aunt Belinda pee with the door open
million dollar idea: a butthole you don't have to wipe
so, purity rings mean a girl WON'T do anal or will ONLY do anal?
keep that shit to yourself – proctologist's wife
what do you call an ewok's boner? a yub chub!
keep your friends close and your enemas underneath your sink hidden from sight
The grubbier the better! Open toed pics now being accepted!
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