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@Laurel54's most faved Tweets...
Laurel54
The trash doesn't fall far from the trailer.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
This baby just screamed so loud and sharp that my ovaries just shot up and plugged my ears.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Hi Cramps, Hi Monday. You are both here. Did you carpool?
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Twitter reminds me of the movie The Breakfast Club. Would we really be friends out side of this library?
@Laurel54
Laurel54
I love you like the mother I had committed against her will.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
what's this burning sensation in my eyes? I think it's called morning.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
my dog won't eat an olive but apparently thinks drywall compound debris is a scooby snack.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
I started following a bunch of smart asses. I suddenly feel the pressure to keep up. Why, oh why didn't I go with dumb asses?
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Paddle harder... I hear banjos.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Some day soon your body is going to make a really nice chalk outline on the street.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
In the old days we didn't have internet. We were molested the old fashion way... by Uncles not strangers. you kids have so easy.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Potato chips are like flakes of God's skin.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Happy hour. Drink all your liquor, there are sober kids in China.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
I find my star favorites twits tend to be about sexual blunders, bloodshed, homicide, & child abuse. I'm happy we all have the same hobbies.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Pardon me Spammers, I forgot my password for my online banking. Could one of you send it to me? You know my email, thanks
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Every time the screaming neighbor brats jump on their trampoline I assume they are trying to shove it up their asses like I told them to do.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Perhaps the world would be a better place if we all did the chicken dance every morning.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
wow, I feel so internationally cosmopolitan when my calls get routed to India.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Something tells me that you weren't allowed to have sugar when you were a kid.
@Laurel54
Laurel54
Marge Simpson wouldn't be on the cover of Playboy if it weren't for strong females paving the way such as Wilma Flintstone and Jane Jetson.
@Laurel54
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