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Come on guys, if we can accept Vine stars, we can accept refugees.
The Five Stages of Grief as experienced by fish when other fish die:
2) Not much
3) Not a whole lot
4) Is that a castle?
AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE THIS RANDOM PARTY I'M CRASHING, BECAUSE THIS PARTY I'M CRA--what's that? Oh my god I'm so sorry for your loss
what if Facebook showed you your childhood memories like, "on this day in 1990, your father left your family for good"
Notice it's called OkCupid and not AmazingCupid or LoveOfYourLifeCupid or even WorthMeetingInPersonCupid
BREAKING: A total nobody endorses total garbage for president
Being healthy by eating salad for lunch..pasta salad..ok pasta...actually it's pizza but it's from a place that sells pasta and maybe salad.
Currently dipping a hotdog in applesauce if anybody is wondering what my stance on marijuana is.
If a homeless person wrote "Sent from my iPad" on the bottom of their cardboard sign, I'd empty my checking account and give it all to them.
Bought a box of "Thank You" cards so I can send some out anonymously with notes on the inside like "for nothing" or "for ruining my life."
"Whoa" -Joey Lawrence, all the time still, probably.
"Oh my god, Steve Jobs died?!?" -Guy whose PC has been loading this whole time
(Steve would've liked that one, I think)
I once had a boss who told me I was slacking and wasting my potential and I was like "You're an assistant manager at Starbucks."
Does this chin make me look fat? What about this one?
The response you get by making your entrance with "WHAT UP SLUTS?!" is way less positive at a baby shower than it is at a bachelorette party
"The damage from Hurricane Sandy is devastating, please help dona--oh my god STAR WARS" -Twitter
I bet being famous on Twitter is like it being your birthday on Facebook.
you wouldn't believe how many times I've dropped a bowl of soup down the stairs and then started crying
"We Bought A Zoo" is about a family making a poor financial decision, similar to the people who bought tickets to see "We Bought A Zoo"
definitely not a doctor.
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