Getting married just because that date is 12.12.12 is almost as sad as getting married on a Wednesday.

Really expected Romney to win after that last minute Melissa Joan Heart endorsement.

Being hot is like having personality insurance.

I've suffered from life all my depression.

Vidal Sassoon to be buried with extra body.

Heidi Klum said to be divorcing Seal because she wants to date otter people.

What did fat girls with really great personalities do prior to the internet?

Dog the Bounty Hunter was cancelled after 8 seasons. That's like 56 seasons in Dog the Bounty Hunter years.

If, in 10 years, I still haven't bought a zoo & you also haven't bought a zoo, WE should buy a zoo.

I hate being lonely, but it's still more fun than being social.

Can't believe the American flag got 50 favs.

"I'm wasted!!!" --All of my money

Oops...trusted another human being again! :(

I'm happiest when I'm alone and depressed.

100% of the 47% jokes have already been made. :(

Hipster birds fly in a deep V formation.

I just want a guy who loves how I'll always be a little sad.

I'm highly skilled at refreshing the same 3 web pages all day with the hopes of finding something that'll change my life even marginally.

Only thing left to do today is deal with the fact that I desperately want someone to hold me despite countless efforts to push everyone away

My mother could not be more passover aggressive today.