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If a friend insists I talk to their kid, I hang up. I hate talking to other peoples kids;come to think of it, I don't like talking to my own
I felt the earthquake this morning. I thought someone very large was walking by my cubicle!
I hate one word tweets! The only one word tweet that would be acceptable is 'FUCK'
Have to wear a heart monitor for 48 hours. I think i will have fun with it&flash it to unsuspecting peeps, demand shit cause i have a bomb!
I wish there was a way to feel like I would after 6 shots of tequila without actually having to drink...wait a minute!!
"Another perfect day to enjoy and spend time with friends" dick on my FB post
I go on FB once a day, post some random positive note to make them happy, so they won't look for me on Twitter!
So if Richard is a dick....I think my husband is a Richard (even if his name is mike)
I'm so pooched it took me 3 hours to get out of my chair to go have a smoke! Wonder how long it will take me to get a drink!
That Bear in the Charmaine toilet paper commercials seem a bit obsessed with toilet paper.....fuck I'm high!
I'm going to the Mayo Clinic to check out alternate options. I'm getting kinda sick of Miracle Whip!
'Mom, do you know how to get bong juice stain out of my blouse' question I never thought I would be asked!
This is what friend posted on FB today "Took our princess out shopping, she ordered pizza and a chocolate chip muffin for lunch" true story
"@sam_kinghan: sitting in @somealannachick's car stoned out of my gourd at 1am in etobicoke. I'm going to die" I'm so proud!
~Writer& blogger that has writers block since December 2011! If I'm following you it's because you made me laugh. PS I have potty mouth~
