*in falsetto voice* sonic the hedgehog IS real *in normal voice* wow who said that... anyways now we HAVE to check out this burrow

IT'S NO GOOD... GOTTA POWER UP [drapes a housecat over each shoulder] I CAN ALREADY FEEL THE ENERGY COURSING THROUGH ME [one cat pukes] NOOO

weird white guy travels the globe eating poor people food. "this food is so weird" he says. americas heart has been captured.

IS IT OK IF THE PETS SLEEP ON THE BED TONIGHT [thousands of spiders pour out of mouth] DADDY LOVES HIS BABIES

stopping kony #RejectedOlympicEvents

fuck jimmy neutron. i hate that little shit. brain blast me into a reality where that asshole isn't

is criminal short for crime animal

People say, "sam, why are in the bathroom every 25 min?" Well: the body is a prison of impulses from which i cannot escape

my brother said spongebob was italian and when I asked him for proof he said spongebob was italian again

if you put your ear up to a conch shell you can hear a shitty little crab scuttle into your ear like a big fucker asshole

ron paul is just a complex series of bugs tied together with string

hey folks it's me, Gex 2 for the Playstation, and i'm real horny

[lets hand glide over Tom Hank's dead body] this all used to be Forrest...

WHAT IF IT WERE POSSIBLE TO MAKE OUT WITH A LIGHTNING STORM - grandpa's last words. he was brave and horney...

i keep getting punched #fistworldproblems

http://t.co/EfrSYFBI feminism

Make sure to destroy generators to prevent more cops from spawning. Some special cops drop keys. Some cops drop items and food. #tips

Hey did you know there's a ton of porn for fake cartoon advertisement erin esurance? Anyways I'm sorry for your loss, he was a great dog

brother just called MF Doom "Microsoft Doom"

The ed edd & eddy movie was america's end of evangelion