Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Occasionally, a retweet appears in my TL that's so offensive, I wanna track down the 1st tweeter & beat them up in front of the retweeter
"I want to put my penis in your vagina" may not be a smooth pickup line but it's more honest than most of the ones women usually hear.
Ok. One more time: commas save lives.
"I already ate out, mom" is VERY different from "I already ate out mom."
I think I just retweeted 2 boob jokes, a comic post & some left-wing, social Obama goodness--don't bother trying to pigeonhole me.
Ah, Twitter... all shameless, all the time.
Apparently Twitter's "similar to you" is only skin deep because EVERY suggestion was a visible minority.
OMFG! That hollywood guy came out?! I don't effing care!! His private life is none of my business & his sexuality doesn't define his talent.
Every so often I wish I was unemployed so I could be writing all day.*
*Sleeping, reading comics & masturbating in a housecoat to Zero 7
Dear Bots, I have stolen your sexy avi AND reported you for spam. I WIN! :D
"What the fuck do you mean vampires sparkle now?! How the hell long was I out?!" -- freshly awoken coma patient
Seriously. I should be in bed. I could be building a kick ass fort right now.
Ever wonder if you're just fundamentally incapable of doing anything right to make anyone happy? Feeling like that right now...
I look dapper in a suit, speak a couple languages, can perform a perfect spinning hook kick and am known to mix a wicked faux-tini but no, I'm not a spy.