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Say what you want about his past capriciousness, but in this instance, Christian Bale is a complete class act for visiting Aurora victims.
I absolutely love that Greg Giraldo is trending; he's easily the best roaster of all-time, & one of the best comics, period. R.I.P, Greg. <3
I will not pray for Japan, but I will donate to the Redcross and other similar things that will actually make a legitimate difference.
"Not bad at all. The guy was really quick and it barely bled. It hasn't even been sore. My eyes did water though! Oh, did they water!"
I am outside. It's freezing. The harsh, as yet uncharted lawnscape blows frigid without repentance. Destiny places me here. I venture forth.
"You're going to freeze your ass off," they say. These subtle reminders serve as a blessing as I venture into the wild unknown of the yard.
In the time it will take you to read this tweet, Batman will have stopped two robberies and gotten a kitten out of a tree.
Also, I'd like to offer the following, and I suggest you all do the same: #FUCKYEAHTEAMNINJAGOOSE
"Chef, I burned my hand really bad." "Fuck off to the medic then." - And who says Chef Ramsay doesn't have a sensitive side?
Can't. Stop. Listening. To. Madonna. #RingRingRingGoesTheTelephone