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Ladies remember! it doesn't hurt to have a skill or a trade. This goes double for you ugly ones.
Fuck you Snapple®, the best stuff on earth is in Vagina's®.
Guys named Rusty were named after the knife point they were conceived at.
I have a face that only a vagina could love.
When I'm in public and drinkin' on my juice box, I hold it with both hands...so as to let bitches see how I'll treat their box.
How bad will you all feel, when science proves that redheads are just like normal people. With surface rust.
I would live in England simply so I could say "crisps" and not feel like I had to make out with men after.
After making love, I whisper: "let's keep this between you and me," but I probably just mean inside you.
I think of the vagina as the retarded arms of the groin. Always ready to give hugs.
In a totally non-sexual way, I think my penis should mash your vagina hole.
Fergie's diet consists of eating coal. The "lovely lady lumps" she speaks of are probably because she shits diamonds.
"Dr. Scholl's® inserts." -probably what Dr. Scholl says when he's about to bone his lady.
Why does "bottom feeders" have a negative connotation? Every time I feed her bottom my juice, everyone seems satisfied.
I'm all for women's liberation but when a bitch cuts me off when I'm talking? Well, I'm ok with that, as long as I see her tits later.
If I had an albino son, I would name him Chrysanthemum.
Jew women's vagina hairs are called Gaza strips...by me. Sometimes, I call them hairzbellah.
How much money do I need to make before the size of my penis can be overlooked?
If you're Hindu and a dick, you'll probably be reincarnated as a fart so everyone knows you were an asshole in a previous life.
Sure, you make 70 cents on the dollar, but prices at stores are just suggestions, they're not set in stone. If you're pretty.
My morning Tang® could use more poon