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I don't even think I'd drive 17 hours to kill someone. After the first hour I'd turn around like "You'll die someday. Fuck this trip."
I heard if you say "Chris Brown" three times in the mirror, he appears. Then he punches you in the face and takes your phone.
Man: *pushes buttons*
Woman: Please stop.
Man: *pushes buttons*
Woman: Stop, okay?
Man: All women are crazy.
This next poem is about black love: Fuck you mean you pregnant? Bitch it ain't mine. Sure I fucked you raw, but I pulled out ev'ry time.
Felicia came out w/ all them titties, looking like the dresser from "Beauty & the Beast." Thought she was gon start singing "Be Our Guest."
Kim Kardashian is going to force E! to give her a 90 min special now. Most of it is gonna be her at Beyonce concerts trying to get in pics.
I consider Montell Jordan's "Let's Ride" a gospel song. It's the only song I've heard where Silkk the Shocker stays on beat. That's Jesus.
Roland Martin made a good point (for once). Since Zimmerman pursued Trayvon, Trayvon had the same rights under the "Stand Your Ground" law.
Nicki Minaj makes music for women who go to the club wearing a belly shirt two weeks after their C-section.
Is it true that T-Pain has HIV and his stagename is derived from the pain one feels when his/her T-cell count is low? Or did I make that up?
This "Catfish" episode bout to be used in court as evidence during the divorce.
Birds fell out the sky, a bunch of fish died, then some grasshoppers, now new Zodiac signs. Wrap it up, Earth. God is about to ctrl+alt+del.
Wait... If Keri Hilson is covering a Whitney Houston song... WHO'S COVERING HER SHIFT AT IHOP?!?!?! KERRRRRRRRIIIIIIII! *shakes fist*
I like to go up to random Indian women and whisper "soon" as I stroke their hair.
Silkk rapped like he broke into the studio and tried to record his ish before P found out, but was having trouble remembering what he wrote.
Satan and Beyonce whisper in Ciara's ear each night "girl, people come to hear you sing, not to see you dance" then go home and laugh.
In honor of black poetry day, I'd like to quote a line from one of my favorite black poems. *clears throat* What it is, ho? What's up?
My grandpa has been burried for almost 17 years. My grandma still wears her wedding ring. THAT'S the shit I want.
Musiq's career hasn't been the same since "Juslisen." When he took his shades off in the "Half Crazy" video, people packed up and went home.
Quiet people have the loudest minds. Not an adult. Just some old-looking kid with a fake ID.