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As God is my witness, if they hire @josecanseco to host The View I will finally start watching that shit.
Only a person who has never undergone a transvaginal ultrasound would ever make it mandatory for anything.
If one of your life goals is to keep a gay person out of their partner's hospital room, I respectfully suggest that you examine your life.
It pisses me off that Republicans would rather put a plastic probe in my vagina than a sandwich in the hands of a child of illegal aliens.
If you're complaining about what other people are tweeting, may I remind you that you can unfollow anyone at any time on Twitter.
Lifetime only has 3 or so different movie flavors. 1. Becky Please Eat Something. 2. Not Without My Daughter 3. He/She's Following Me Again
I'm taking the SNAP Challenge! Can I eat for a week on $31.50, as SNAP recipients do? Check it out! http://t.co/mhbMWouW
Catholic League is basically one guy with a computer. Fine. I hereby declare myself the Crescent Roll League. #itisdone #passthebutter
The Paterno family thinks they should have had input on NCAA sanctions. In case you were wondering how fucked up Penn State let this get.
As they do. RT @helena: So this is happening. In New Jersey. http://t.co/FpkSyuYc
Jesus, South Carolina. He lied to you, his staff and Congress, was a cheating weirdo, broke in to his wife's house after their divorce. WTF?
Eventually the person you always put second will decide you can live with your first choice. Make sure you're ok with that.
Stop being shocked that a guy who may have done a horrible thing could have a friend who thought he was nice. It is ignorant.
If you need a break from bedlam, here's Bruno's first nap of the day. pic.twitter.com/nkcK0Ehrid
If Isaac causes further delay of the GOP convention, can all the hookers claim FEMA benefits?
If most of your tweets and communications are negative, maybe it's time to wonder if it's really everyone else, or maybe it's just you.
THIS NEW GMAIL METHOD OF DRAFTING AN EMAIL IS UN FUCKING USABLE. WHO AUTHORIZED THIS?
LinkedIn needs to calm the fuck down. Congratulating me on every connection as if we swam to one another across the ocean is a bit much.
Litigator. Lover of cooking, photography, Diet Coke, crispy carbs, and very rare steaks. Pad Thai me. Don't like my dog pics? Kiss my grits.
