Are there any technologically advanced Amish out there? I think that's where I was kidnapped from. THE ROBOAMISH

Do any of you ladies know when the BTK app is coming out? "Before Bill" is not a valid answer.

Sometimes when people say "jajajajaja" as in Spanish laughter, I misread it as them cumming in German. YESYESYESYESYESYES

God Bill, BE MORE OBVIOUS http://t.co/zxduFK8

@tornadotorrie I believe he was airing Bills spangly thongs on the laundry line, yes

@tornadotorrie I Havel now too. They're chillin in my closet. http://t.co/cD90r1qN

And when in doubt, TOPLESS TRAINING MONTAAAAGGGGE

@tornadotorrie Why are you only the best friend ever

@tornadotorrie THE OCARINA OF SELF-ESTEEM

@tornadotorrie Greg. It was a really ugly sofa, Greg. These are people who habitually make BAD DECISIONS.

That scintillating pee tweet brought to you by Don't Leave Your Phone Near Your Friends

Jamming to Hey Du on loop because there is not a reason not to. DOUBLE NEGATIVE

I SHOULD BE THE ONLY FRUIT IN YOUR HAND okay I'm sorry that was terrible http://t.co/rwPUIWc0

Sweet thuggin' love will be made to the cornrowed one http://t.co/EqeLfgZG Daaaayyyyyuuummmm boyyyyy hollah at me boo

I like to introduce Tokio Hotel into unrelated conversations and watch what happens.

The Little Mermaid is now the story of how Billsula lost his voice and learned to walk on his spindly tails which he then tattooed

Oh my gosh, tiger sharks are so cute, with their iddy blunt noses and nictitating membranes ;_; <3 I love these assholes

Ain't no one fucks with tiny hippo. AIN'T NO ONE. http://t.co/IoebIJh7

I DON'T WATCH FOOTBALL UNLESS IT'S ACTUALLY PLAYED WITH FEET

"It's his birthday, so I'm buying him a pie." The Hell you will! "Yes, the Hell I am, now get the Hell out of my way."