Boyfriend's mom said a History degree is not a real degree. NEITHER ARE YOUR TITS, SUSAN

only thing keeping me from being stripper is about 60 pounds

You show up drunk 80 times to your boyfriend's parent's house and all of a sudden you're deemed the alcoholic girlfriend

my boyfriend is going to be a police officer one day. I'm only dating him so I can routinely say "fuck the police" right before we bang

just one day of bleeding from your vagina should be enough, not seven

woah buddy, nice Facebook link in your bio

don't complain that's it's not real bacon, dog. I'm getting tricked all the time about butter

swear I thought it was an ass in someone's avi but once I enlarged it was a woman's breast. asstits.

My stomach is telling me I gotta poop but after 20 minutes of trying, I'm throwing in the towel. You win this time stomach, you win

someone just uttered the words 'Jersey Shore' and all of a sudden I got herpes

wonder if anyone younger than 20 knows what MTV actually stands for

it's been said the Bloods and Crips starting fighting because one of the brother's denied liking big butts