Home Alone 4 won't be nearly as interesting, being that Macaulay is plenty old enough to be at home by his self now.

When Twitter says "Over Capacity" I question whether its true. Like the door man at the club tellin me "We're full" but lets the hotties in.

The secret to a long marriage is not being able to afford the divorce.

I want to be young again. But this time without the stupid.

Damaged people damage people.

People who have more than 3 Twitter accounts, have too much time on their hands.

#CaseyAnthony just called and said she's glad #AmandaKnox is getting all the media coverage 2day, so she can slip out 2 the club undetected.

I don't mind going to bed alone. Again. For the millionth night in a row. I'm cool with it. Really.

I don't understand how ppl can wear socks to bed. U guys are just weird.

There really should be a test you have to take before you're allowed to have kids.

We can all argue about whether reincarnation really happens, but sad thing is, there's only one way to find out. Who wants to volunteer?

I don't get ppl that Protect their Tweets! Such paranoid scaredy cats! Ur the same ppl that put bicycle helmets on ur dogs when u walk them.

Local News: "98 yr old man found dead. No foul play suspected, but cause of death unknown." I'm gonna go out on a limb & say cause = OLD AGE

Just because the voices aren't real, doesn't mean they don't have good ideas.

Twitter is the modern version of the nosey neighbor peeking out the window to see what everyone is doing.

I need to come to terms w/ the fact that my eyebrows will never match. No matter how much I pluck prod and poke. I give up : (

Just woke up at 8pm. How long have I been out? Let me check my twitter timeline.

Apologies to my followers. I've got OTD (obsessive tweeting disorder)

The world pisses me off. Well not the world, just the people in it. Well not all the people, just those who don't agree w/ me on everything.

When its late at night and I'm off my meds, thats when the random racing thoughts start break dancing.