I want to do so much sex to you.

Watching American Horror Story while taking a bath is the bravest thing I've ever done.

I guess Dictionary to the face wasn't what she meant by wanting the D.

Ugh just realized I should have used the name of the girl I hated the most in highschool as my porn name!

Have the house to myself and no one to fuck. So ill eat this Tuna salad sandwhich alone while taking a bath.

SEXual mORALity.

You have no idea how badly I just wanna make out right now.

Shut your cock holster girl.

IT DO!!!

I have a thing for surfers, skaters, and snowboarders, it's called a vagina.

L is for the way you look at me... @itstessalane and myself are knock outs day in and day out.  http://instagram.com/p/ZWz6DrKl33/ 

Why leave my bed when I have Netflix?

The dregs of human kind all clumped together in a drunken stupor, or my family reunion. Tomato/tomato kinda thing.

Guys I know I keep going on about Australians but what's the verdict on their dick size?

I'm about to bang an Australian and I can't get @boycalledann outta my head. 😒

Congratulations on your pregnancy! I'm unfollowing your Instagram now.

Went running past the highschool in my area. 22 is to young to be considered a pedophile right?

Don't act like you've never masturbated to the coma scene in Kill Bill.

I named my asshole Benefits. Now everyone wants to be my friend.

I went running. Now I'm dead. In lieu of flowers send condoms to your favorite inmate. pic.twitter.com/ESNrq6U6yu