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Aren't you glad the US government doesn't allow gay people to ruin the sanctity of Hugh Hefner's marriage?
A man's needs are always the same: give him a bottle, put'em to bed, clean up the mess. Why aren't all women lesbians?
I don't know about you, but I'm sick of those fatcat teachers hogging all the wealth in America...
Obesity as a Recognized Legal Disability, Where do you stand? (or sit)?
That chick you think is really hot... it's a dude... #ThingsILearnedFromFacebook
Talking to a woman is like getting technical assistance from a call center in India...
For someone who bitches about shit all the time, I've finally arrived at the conclusion that shit actually bothers me very little.
Pole to Pole: A Strippers Guide to Circumnavigating the World. Yep... I'd buy that...
"Use of alcohol may intensify this effect." Uh... wern't we all planning on that?
Have you ever come back to your twitter screen and thought "Jesus, I actually typed that?" ... Ooooops...
One of the problems with actually having a job... it's just so "daily."
You know you have a shitty life when even your spayed and neutered cats get more action than you do.~Cat Lady Quote
Is Angelina Jolie starting to look a little scary to anyone else? ...or is it just me... and Brad...
Seventh-grade drama CAN continue into adulthood... #ThingsILearnedFromFacebook
Why does Jesus think that tortilla chips are best way to appear to us?
Paranoia: when your computer dies, and you feel the need to put a couple .22 rounds through the hard drive...
Is it 'stalking" if you keep tracK of who follows you? I've not kept track and I feel like I'm a slacker now... *sigh*
Hardcore comedy, nothing is sacred...
