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Bumped into Professor Brian Cox looking a bit down, so I asked him "What's the matter?"
Longest. Reply. Ever.
ROW row row your boat / Gently down the stream / If you win Olympic Gold / don't forget to SCREAM!
#TeamGB #rowing
Chancellor takes 1p off a pint.
"I'll have a int of your best bitter, landlord"
#budget2013
According to the Chancellor, we're all in this together.
"This" being an anagram ...
Knock knock
"Whose their"
It's the grammar police. You're under arrest.
"Knot again!"
#TweeHee
Say what you like about auto-correct, but it's stuck with me through he'll and hi Walter.
Bumped into Professor Brian Cox looking a bit down, so I asked him "What's the matter?"
Longest. Reply. Ever.
Harrowing, heartbreaking news compounded by unethical journalism.
Shame on you Kay Burley.
Twitter will erupt over the news of Margaret Thatcher. All I can say is a family have lost a mother and grandmother. They have my sympathy.
What's the best way to remove the taste of space dust from your mouth?
Chewbacca
#starwarsday
Who put all the carpets down on the Death Star?
Princess Layer
#starwarsday #lollyjoke
If you love a boomerang let it go.
If it doesn't come back to you it probably wasn't a boomerang.
Possibly a banana.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm becoming addicted to twitter.
So sorry, I'm afraid I don't follow you.
#TweeHee
Rang the council to ask if I need permission for a skip outside my house.
"No, but you WILL need a decent length of rope"
My friends who met at Specsavers got married on Saturday.
LONGEST ceremony ever.
"For better or worse? Better? Or worse?"
Stuff and nonsense.
