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Girls fall in love with what they hear, while boys fall in love with what they see. That's why girls wear makeup and boys lie!
"I love the smell of tear gas in the morning" - Papademos
In tune with our economy, I'm downgrading Greek to my second language.
Three to go to make it 100 followers. Anyone brave enough out there?
Just woke up! Morning exercise. Up, Down. Up, Down. Up, Down.
Now for the left eyelid.
Wish you were here
Contemplating of going to bed. This GF of mine isn't going to fuck herself now, is she?
On second thought....
The best part of staying in a five star hotel?
You don't have to think about condoms.
They have them there. Next to the mini bar!
Who the hell is Murphy and why didn't someone kill him before he made his laws?
Spent three days catching up with all outstanding issues at work while I was on leave.
Like being gang raped by ten grizzly bears!
Flying back tomorrow morning. Real life is over; back to the Matrix!
Just paid $7 for a cappuccino. Coffe beans from Colombia, water from the Alps, cream......I don't wanna know.
"It's a blast!"
- Nigeria tourist board new add campaign moto
Slept with a cross-eyed girl once.
Looked at her in the morning and asked: "Did I do that sweetie?"
...and I'm just a boy standing in front of a girl, asking her to wrap her gums around my plums.
By the time this newscaster moves to the next syllable the strike will be over anyway.
Silicon Valley ---> Pornstar Cleavage
Hackers obtain secret files from the State Department!
Meantime, a lame asshole is wasting his time with my old email.
No Gisele. "Greek style" does not exactly refer to sandals!
Good perfumes come in small bottles.....so do strong poisons.