Farewell NYC party. Friends were devastated to see me go. @chrisamclain @emilyshepodd @anikalynne @dirtypigeon pic.twitter.com/49v3FnOGhm

I think Miguel is over my head.

For a long time I thought Honey Boo Boo was that Urban Outfitters Pomeranian

'Stepmom' is the netti pot for the soul.
-Dylan Thompson

Thank god for this new T Swift album. This treadmill basically runs itself.

Watching the Beyonce HBO special for the 3rd time in 24 hours

I wonder if anyone around me is tweeting about the girl next to them on the bus aggressively de-shelling pistachios and making a huge mess.

I'm grateful for the Kardashians because without Khloe and Lamar I never would have tried pistachios.

Did you know there are many ways to spell phlegm and that the Internet makes it very difficult to find which spelling is best?

"WHY DO YOU DO THAT? You're trying to make me look stupid." -@katelipe on me tweeting her quotes

People who talk too quietly drive me CRAZY. But I also think I have a hearing problem so maybe that's not fair.

It's ok to wear your pajamas outside real quick if you layer with a chunky sweater and a statement necklace, right?

In Hell, they make you try to get footage back from film students all day, every day.

Is it too late to get a denim vest? I didn't have the guts to wear it a year ago and now i'm worried I waited too long.

@dirtypigeon is sending me dirty texts

So far my biggest consistent fail in LA is not looking at where I parked. It's not even that I can't remember. It's that I never looked.

I was joking before, but I guess mooning really is back.

My cabbie to the airport knew exactly which route through manhattan would make me cry the hardest. Truly a memory on every block.

Frank to our waiter:
"what's the largest amount of food on the menu?"

@frankspadafora

Shorty award party = bunch of trendy people drinking and waiting for an outlet to charge their phones