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You know your job is important when you get scolded for forgetting to send the weekly office birthday email complete with clip art baloons
I think Miguel is over my head.
For a long time I thought Honey Boo Boo was that Urban Outfitters Pomeranian
Items I'm sweatily carrying through security in my highest (heaviest) heels and sluttiest (coolest) dress: giant stuffed dog & wedding dress
Never has a bigger mess graced the Bob Hope Burbank airport. Strangers are tweeting about me. I can feel it.
Reading Web MD and worrying about my entire body.
'Stepmom' is the netti pot for the soul.
Thank god for this new T Swift album. This treadmill basically runs itself.
Watching the Beyonce HBO special for the 3rd time in 24 hours
I wonder if anyone around me is tweeting about the girl next to them on the bus aggressively de-shelling pistachios and making a huge mess.
I'm grateful for the Kardashians because without Khloe and Lamar I never would have tried pistachios.
Did you know there are many ways to spell phlegm and that the Internet makes it very difficult to find which spelling is best?
People who talk too quietly drive me CRAZY. But I also think I have a hearing problem so maybe that's not fair.
It's ok to wear your pajamas outside real quick if you layer with a chunky sweater and a statement necklace, right?
In Hell, they make you try to get footage back from film students all day, every day.
Is it too late to get a denim vest? I didn't have the guts to wear it a year ago and now i'm worried I waited too long.