At times I feel like a transient. Not to be confused with a tranny. Which I also feel like at times.

Just had a sugar free redbull and now on to a triple venti skinny mocha. My heart may explode but at least I'll be awake.

The only thing that would take away this hangover is a lobotomy and a new liver or perhaps death.

Show of hands, how many ppl got an extra large car bow for Christmas?

If you don't belong, don't be long.

Want to know what sucks? Getting you knuckle ink retouched. That's what.

Bret Michaels Pet Clothing Collection? Wow. Just, wow.

Went to Target to buy TP, paper towels & a toothbrush. $115 later. *shakes fist in the air*

Does anyone know a really good plastic surgeon? I want a shotgun for a leg.

There's some blood in my alcohol stream.

I need a bottle of vicodin and a glass of wine. Or vise versa. It's been a day.

Ask miss universe how she feels abt toddlers & tiaras so I can see the look of terror in her eyes as all her childhood memories come back.

The woman in front of me at the grocery store is so fat that it looks like she is smuggling hams in her shirt sleeves.

This sums up my life: http://lockerz.com/s/126335692

Seen at Park City street fair: adult man wearing a Winnie the pooh costume, a pink fedora & wearing no shoes w/painted toe nails, limping.

Do white guys driving around in west palm beach blasting gansta rap w/the windows down know how retarded they look? Yea. Prob not.

Some old bitch @ the grocery store: OMG! Look @ all those tattoos! What did you do to yourself? Me: Didn't u already answer that question?

@nickadoola but were you maxin' and relaxin'?

@bginthemix I had a lot of fun! Thanks!!! Hope you are well too my friend!

Anytime is a good time to listen to 'Thriller.'