• Ahoy!

    Please Sign In

    Favstar gets even better if you sign in.

    Here's why signing in is good for you.

    • You get a personalized view of Favstar based on the people you follow.
    • Your likes and retweets are collected instantly, meaning your status and stats get updated at blazing speeds.
    • Use lists to manage your friends, and keep on top of where the fav-love is happening.

    Your account is safe, of course!

    • We never see your twitter password.
    • We won't tweet or follow anyone without your permission.
    • We only use your API calls when you like, retweet, or follow someone.
Okay, you have been unsubscribed.
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Early to bed, early to hit the snooze 27 times and still be late.

    • 742
    • LIKES
    srujanstonerrcozbelligerentbanishednerdevildadatrontechroach98ixix82Furry_Beaverkatie_1002
    • 499
    • RETWEETS
    srujanstonerrcozbelligerentevildadatronixix82Furry_Beaverkatie_1002Sea_of_Voicesryanhopesudie
    brunopieroni
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I keep incredibly busy for someone that doesn't do anything.

    • 1,220
    • LIKES
    corletttttverotweetysrujanstonerrnikkaherselfSassyPatriot69LewCandoit2dzennonD2BMcG
    • 851
    • RETWEETS
    verotweetysrujanstonerrnikkaherselfD2BMcGJust4funsaWineandFrecklescozbelligerentthedaytripper09
    treadmilldnumbmacchiato
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    If you take away the blonde hair, prince charming, hopes and dreams, I'm just like Cinderella.

    • 771
    • LIKES
    srujanstonerrMrsMikePattonJeffSarcasticEightinchgoatBreakingNewsJoeLosLos__bijonblitzgreen_eyed_mofo
    • 531
    • RETWEETS
    srujanstonerrJeffSarcasticEightinchgoatgreen_eyed_mofoDeurb1mister_frijolesvckindronWeirdWorkaholic
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Oh, you were born to be wild? That's nice. I was born to be miserable.

    • 745
    • LIKES
    bigTseattleDestineyLynnkrishna_vanSteveDutzymarkgander73BriannaMarie197TheBossyBlondeSPNNlogic
    • 475
    • RETWEETS
    cozbelligerentDestineyLynnkrishna_vanDennisKaymerTheBossyBlondeli4mst3w4rtddsmidtcurlymalloy
    DontTouchMyWine
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    fortune cookie- You will not die alone but with many many cat...
    cat: LOL THAT'S SO YOU!

    • 424
    • LIKES
    SPNNlogicli4mst3w4rtddsmidtBlackJermsProkraztinatorshaunmwormfredizherejack_slut16
    • 249
    • RETWEETS
    curlymalloyShanayacakesddsmidtBlackJermsgitson_shigglesSheDoneGoodBillJitsutjcirimele
    MondayPajamas
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    You had me at "hello" but you lost me at "I have 5 kids under the age of 10."

    • 949
    • LIKES
    gianniskallilashaloboy1997Neon_DragonWordWiseAliceCwmDumpsterTheOPhilosopherTheBossyBlondenotmjk
    • 453
    • RETWEETS
    LilDonkeyButtNeon_DragonTheBossyBlondecurlymalloyAgentMatzobaldStevenEveral_babyblue13vlak_off
    Social_Mime
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Hey, I may not look like much right now, but believe me, in the morning I'll look even worse.

    • 748
    • LIKES
    lickmybitchfaceakarmuttli4mst3w4rtmandadaddario__BigChiefMadigemineyeboynotsosupermom_The_Sculptress
    • 453
    • RETWEETS
    curlymalloycarlylundenlettuce_fetishlovealwayslacyJsalaheddineIAmSaidWhiskeyndiquoteBlackJerms
    YourDailyGroan
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    There's nothing like coming home to where I grew up to make me feel happy I moved away.

    • 567
    • LIKES
    krishna_vanDiscoPizzamanmolarpokerHoldawayIanli4mst3w4rtThe_SculptressMBittersweet25populamania
    • 315
    • RETWEETS
    BagztonNjoro254DennisKaymerHoldawayIanpopulamaniagitson_shigglestjcirimelelovemydogduck
    thatguysinghchompy_jr
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Sometimes its nice not to be in the driver's seat, and other times your 16 yo daughter is driving and you're too scared to open your eyes.

    • 473
    • LIKES
    jaggedapeckvandersteltkathybotteasMBittersweet25GlassToTh3ArsontjcirimelePanettaSexyTimelovemydogduck
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_kathybotteasudaysahadevanlovemydogduckDaniLynn1024TobiasBDogsprgroveshammbone84
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I'd tap that.
    *winks at keg*

    • 1,018
    • LIKES
    LittleJimmy61allthenachosMsGreenGoddessbjaynashmauro_66ItalianBratikuscraneenergygreen_eyed_mofo
    • 657
    • RETWEETS
    allthenachosMsGreenGoddessItalianBratikuscraneenergygreen_eyed_mofoDuffTillmanAmnesiaRoseT_Bonezzz_
    Spaced_Cowboy00T_Bonezzz__
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Salesman: Can I help you find something?
    Me: This!
    *points to your avi on my phone*

    • 369
    • LIKES
    doneforgotchuItalianBratikusBreakingNewsJoegreen_eyed_mofoMBittersweet25rasmithiitjcirimeleJohnnyNopolis
    • 194
    • RETWEETS
    AhhdaeNjoro254DennisKaymersamnarafiqgreen_eyed_mofoT_Bonezzz___emilymjviolet_heartin
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I got a new phone and lost all of my drafts.
    Okay, a couple of drafts.
    Fine, 2 words I put in there last year but it was gonna be great.

    • 499
    • LIKES
    BreakingNewsJoeThe_SculptressMBittersweet25ZoeLightlyDennisKaymerJimmerThatisAllmatlhodi_malopeGlassToTh3Arson
    • 265
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_ZoeLightlyJimmerThatisAllGlassToTh3Arsonchi179velma_08Not0nDrugsddsmidt
    CulturedRuffian
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    If you don't love something, you should also set it free.

    • 1,325
    • LIKES
    kris_retweetsCarolynPureunemergencyTLittle78PrimmaDonna1NotoliviasteelFoxyMariaSangelica974
    • 878
    • RETWEETS
    kris_retweetsshakehandslifetexasstalkermomZBauermeisterLSGmusic1bornalmostJonnyKoolerRandyCromwell
    NaomiGlitterJeffSarcastic
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I've been trying to kick a bad habit, but he keeps getting away.

    • 527
    • LIKES
    filffyRichNotoliviasteelMasterOfFuryddsmidtthulnicolleMBittersweet25Rakiby1DobbyxTheCat
    • 306
    • RETWEETS
    ddsmidtkihugithulnicolleshirazfarahatOrabiSalehThe_MartiniGirl__emilymjAnthonyEwart
    Flattliner
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I'm awake but I could easily go back to sleep for 2 or 3 days.

    • 780
    • LIKES
    kris_retweetsMsGreenGoddessLorenzLorenzj94MrDarceysWifeFreudstombstone__5haelnephsiesTattooedMisery
    • 536
    • RETWEETS
    kris_retweetsshakehandslifeMsGreenGoddessLorenzLorenzj94Freudstombstone__vonraj78jajavaru79hayley_ramz
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    I'm pretty much over this whole "being human" thing.

    • 849
    • LIKES
    Notoliviasteelbig_carsonrocksddsmidtPinkCamoTOMBittersweet25MrsWino16theresawil2013Hurricane_Timmy
    • 522
    • RETWEETS
    big_carsonrocksddsmidtPinkCamoTOgaytrirana53bhagatsingh016Hurricane_TimmyEAlMansyScottwB42
    darrinfbalex_perez01UnderchildeCelebrityChezCulturedRuffian
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    The best part of planning all the stuff you're going to do when you have time off work is not doing any of it.

    • 798
    • LIKES
    kris_retweetsT_Bonezzz_Jasvirbelwalgetrightwisemasreworkurosariobagas__Urthman1MELSBMC
    • 510
    • RETWEETS
    kris_retweetsshakehandslifeT_Bonezzz_Jsalaheddinehappy_creaturesR_atrikaPolygameistJimmerThatisAll
    Writethatdown12fsuflores__Alex_N_Chains
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Hate is such a strong word.
    *Hate flexes for a selfie*

    • 447
    • LIKES
    T_Bonezzz_MattMcC112ozCourageJimmerThatisAllToxicProbablyAnthonyEwartNicole_Kapp87jeskalala
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_12ozCourageJimmerThatisAllAnthonyEwartBrandilzz__mattgallo123felicia_levernham_free
    OrigamiUndies__asadkhawaja
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Sometimes I can't even get my own bra unhooked fast enough, so I get it Fumble Fingers, I get it.

    • 464
    • LIKES
    LittleJimmy61White_Trash_TomT_Bonezzz_ToxicProbablynutofhockeyMelvinofYorkheatherhaskidstroyt335
    • 237
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_Just4funsaP0tterhead_394__emilymjAnthonyEwartSquishKittenchristy_cappedRdrJay47
    One_FineMess
  • Lisa_Laughs_
      @sshole @Lisa_Laughs_

    Just saw a man spanking his kids, so being the good person I am, I tried to help. Oh stop, I didn't spank them, I just held them down.

    • 909
    • LIKES
    mathtermindT_Bonezzz_mom_needsadrinkDanLtcRHugBoxNinjaDS9SteveDentonReportsKroolMama
    • 499
    • RETWEETS
    T_Bonezzz_mom_needsadrinkChartocTassiaGroverBecketAdamsrcromwell4TheBeerdedOneCosmicBombshell

@sshole’s Newest Tweets

@Lisa_Laughs_

@Lisa_Laughs_

I wrote a funny tweet once. https://twitter.com/search?q=from%3ALisa_Laughs_&src=typd

Gift 128x128

Like @Lisa_Laughs_’s tweets? Send them a Favstar Pro Membership to show you care.

Gift them Pro!