Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
"Man, you're just and accident waiting to happen"
*pushes him downstairs*
He said I'd be the death of him, and for once... he was right.
If hearts were made to be broken then so were faces.
Liquor that looks like water is why I have trust issues.
I Know What You Did Last Summer:
*pulls up your Twitter page*
I have had a few bullshit jobs in my life, but parenting has got to be the bullshittiest of them all. I want a raise.
Let's grow mold together...
-all the food in my fridge
First day of emoji rehab...
-How do you feel?
-HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW?!
Oh its okay. I wouldn't talk to me either.
*Crosses 'cross something off my to do list' off my to do list*
Productive day, you guys.
The hardest part about working in a bar is leaving all that beer and liquor undrank.
I'm in a constant state of melt with you.
You're like the bonus track of people. No one likes you, but yet, there you are...
I have a way with words. A very bad way...but its still a way.
Less talking, more stabbing.
Just made mountains out of laundry. Your move, Jesus
I'm not good at math but I'd say I've had a lot many drinks.
I feel like tweeting today. Sorry in advance.
Hey look! They named a candy after you!
*points to Dum Dums*
You have one of those faces not even your mother can love.