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Today is the day I will change my life! Ooh is that a lemur riding a bright pink Segway? I'm following his ass today, no matter what.
"Being rejected by those who know nothing of my existence," is how I start off all my wedding crasher reviews on a blog that no one reads.
The only thing I'll ever amount to is a 'thumbs up' commenter on Youtube or a soft core porn extra, according to this career test I took.
There is nothing wrong with wearing a tiny mirrored body suit, while my boom box plays disco, and I'm cutting up lines on "my," lunchtime.
@pywl let me know how it goes, I'm fighting my own battle wearing a disco ball costume.
RSVP to our SF Tweet Up http://tweetvite.com/event/SanFran
Get your dance moves from this SF Tweet Up video http://youtu.be/4VtthlO5Jgk via @youtube
Nothing like a huge wake up call to my problems, than snorting the last of my dignity on the men's Arco bathroom floor.
I'd like the type of love bursting at the seams, but in a few hours, politely lie about how busy life is to get into anything serious.
An explosion of warm chicken paste covering her entire body in batter, is how I want my autopsy report to read.
I'd like some strict heavy shoe nanny to come by and paddle me for wearing my husky butterfly costume too tight around the paddling areas.
Slip me the tongue, shame on you. Slip me a roofie, while I'm at the drive thru liquor store, and can't remember my pin, shame shame, shame.
Sweet @brendanmckeigan gave me a trophy! Thank You! I've learned so much about cheese from this guy. Check him out: http://favstar.fm/users/BrendanMcKeigan …
I'd smash a rock on my face, spit out my teeth, and throw myself into moving traffic, just so I can feel your soft kiss again.
The beautiful half face @fluffysusen blogged about giving me a trophy. Now here it is! Full of tears and a big stain of Nutella! Thank you
Holy crap! That psychotic kleptomaniac @vividjame just trophied my ass. Thanks man! Tickle your funny bone ~~> http://favstar.fm/users/VividJame
Congrats on 10K @shittycomedian I saw glitter shoot out of someone's ass, was it you?
Welcome to Lisa World. I tweet sexy time while eating and snorting inspiration covered in delicous gravy. 7.20.13 Tweet Up http://tweetvite.com/event/SanFran.
