@Literalmn's (Literal Man) most faved Tweets...
Note to people from high-school on my facebook: If I'd wanted to get "a beer with you sometime," I'd have given up and stayed in town too.
When did sad and desperate get changed to "cougar"? Is that like the calling the handicapped "differently abled"?
How I know bosses are dumb: impressed by my powerPoint skills. Not the fucking engineering , but the shit a mildly-retarded kid could do.
I think twitter needs anti-stars (turds) for marking the Tweets that suck. I think I could be the sween or fireland of that system.
Stupid porn bots. Make me think I got followers and that people like me. But they just want my money. Like the dead hooker in my trunk.
Chivalry is not dead. It is beaten silly and chained up in my basement, along with courtesy, shame, dignity & humility. Stupid pussies.
I think god knew that boobs are pretty and balls are kinda ugly. That's why he put them where he did.
I wish people would stop calling me 'sir.' I'm not old. Plus they sound like Eddie-fucking Haskell when they do. Uhhh... nevermind.
I'll bet this interstate through browned autumn fields on an overcast day inspires somber insights about life in someone smarter than me.
Note to stupid kid with cap on backwards, loud metal-rap & gangsta-lean: you'd look a whole lot cooler if you weren't in your mom's camry.
Per Favstar, dead hookers and facebook are my best tweets. After this past weekend I should have a lot of great twitter material.
i just figured it out. I'm attracted to you because there is no way you would be attracted to me. Shit, now it's time to obsess.
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