Girls who say "suck my dick" scare me.

"No seriously, Tosh.0 is actually really funny." - No one I hang out with

Let's get weird! = Let's post instagram pictures of us at the bar.

Smartphones are cool but can we make a pillow that constantly stays cold already.

Harsh reality.

I miss Chris Farley so much.

We get it, Vegans.

Please tell me whhhhhhhy my car is in the front yard and I'm sleeping with my clothes ooooonnnn..

More dudes need to grow their hair out.

When will people realize that it's super awkward to post stuff about their relationships on the internet? Nobody will care, ever.

Tyler Perry's stop making shitty movies you turd

Dear internet, stop with the streetwear tumblrs. We have enough photos of OF and Supreme for all enternity.

I think you're really freaky and I like you a lot.

Don't let your mistakes define you. Fix them.

When someone lies to you because they don't want you hurt. Is that ever really okay?

SEXT: oh uh yeah yeah oh yeah ohohohoh yeeeeeah. SEND.

National apologize on twitter day.

RT If you like water.

Blah blah I have problems blah blah

All I keep thinking about is how awesome Batman is going to be.