My Autistic son just gave me a kiss on the lips. Knowing how nearly impossible that is to achieve, I dare you to bring me down now.

If you only speak one language you have no excuse to suck at it.

Wish I could master the expression cows have when a ten car pile-up occurs on the highway alongside the field. Now THAT'S not giving a fuck.

A receptionist asked for my date of birth in front of a hot guy today. Well played, fat bitch, well played.

Just watched my Autistic son giggle and play with the other kids at the park for the first time. Best day ever.

Hate it when I'm bending over to pick up something and a guy asks if he can give me a hand and I say "2 fingers are fine" and he runs away.

I am a single parent today for choosing to escape an abusive relationship. Best decision I ever made. I belong to me #internationalwomensday

It freaks me out that some of you were born in the Late Eighties/Early Nineties...I have addictions that are older than that.

The world needs more John Cusacks carrying boomboxes.

Dear Americans, Northern Ireland is part of the UK, the Republic of Ireland is not. I guess if we had any oil here you'd know that.

I hope you fuck better than you tweet.

Hey you, with the Bible under your arm, the smug look on your face, and the judgemental attitude....You're a terrorist too.

I'm really good in bed.....I stay on my side and rarely steal all the covers.

Twitter is the best relationship I've ever been in. Long distance and open....

A year ago my child was diagnosed with Autism. I hope someday the world gets to see what I do. Not a disability...just a beautiful mind.

You shouldn't believe everything you read. That's how religions get started.

I love being a woman...mostly 'cause my g-spot is not up my ass.

You had me at "shut the fuck up and get on your knees"...

I might be climbing into bed alone tonight.....but at least it's with someone I like.

You know you spend too much time online when you struggle to use a pen to write.