Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Apparently our 8 week old was up all night, good thing I drank all that whiskey, I did not hear a thing.
I took the garbage out without a shirt on this morning and our 85 year old granny neighbor said I looked good, I STILL GOT IT!!
I hear you're really funny, mostly from you, but I hear you're really funny.
It is embarrassing how often I have to go to urban dictionary.
You were not funny when there was Favrd and now with Favstar, you are just plain annoying.
It is amazing that I can see your crazy through the internet. Impressive to say the least.
I'm going on a date with my wife, I hope she puts out.
You are not cute enough to pull off crazy. Sorry.
Remember when twitter was funny and everyone was not a star whore?
I wonder if people who take twitter WAY to serious are the same people who fight at their kid's little league games? Probably.
Sweet, somebody just called me a douche! I am doing it right!
I am totally still a thing, just saying.
Driving 6 mexicans around looking for restaurant space, I know this sounds like a joke, welcome to my life.
When Farrah died and went to heaven god granted her a wish, she wanted all children in the world to be safe. So god killed Michael Jackson.
I wish I did not always have to use my inside voice when I am at work. Sometimes yelling at people is fun.
Kids are quite elastic.
Remember when I used to read books before twitter, me neither, need to change that.