Arguing with stupid people is like killing the mosquito on your cheek, you might or might not kill it, but you'll end up slapping yourself.

In India, Rickshawalas and Paanwalas are poor man's Google Maps with voice navigation.

Swim like Michael Phelps.
Run like Usain Bolt.
Cycle like Lance Armstrong.
Drive like Schumacher.
Sleep like a government employee.

Remember those 500 words essay in exams, some kids wrote 300 words of nonsense just to fill up the space? Those kids today are journalists.

Stages of a relationship.
Stage 1: Talk talk and talk
Stage 2: Please Talk to me
Stage 3: Don't you dare talk to me
Stage 4: We need to talk

Instead of leaving a better tomorrow for kids, leave better kids for tomorrow

Compliment a woman, she will doubt your intentions. Don't compliment a woman, she will doubt your sexual orientation.

90% Indians ARE Idiots, Justice Katju is right. Congress is ruling, Salman films are hit, Bigg Boss still airing & Cricket is still followed

How to look cool on internet.
1) Upload DP in which you're not looking at the camera
2) Be insomniac
3) Be an atheist
4) Hate people
5) Lie

People say I'm too obsessed with body parts. It's toe much, whoever nose me, knows that eye arm not that obsessed, butt nobody believes me.

In Star Wars, translation for "May the force be with you" is "Ma ka aashirwaad tumhare saath rahe". Because Force = Mass x Acceleration (ma)

Potato is a whore of vegetables, it goes with almost every food.

Valentine's Day is yearly reminder that nobody loves you.

Welcome to India, have a pleasant stay, feel free to rape or steal or kill. If you get caught, don't worry, we don't charge much for bribes.

Sleep is like relatives, will always come when not needed and when needed, will disappear.

There are 3 types of people
1) Those who take shower
2) Those who don't take shower and wear perfume
3) Those who take shower in perfume

Torture brother, divorce ageing wife, marry secretary, then start a show n tell people what's wrong with the society #TypicalIndianMentality

It'd be difficult for Sri Lankan women in bed, imagine being lost in sex & then moaning "Oh yes, harder Balamungthanvenkatehwaranjayasuriya"

"I am sec C and I know it" - 1/cos C

Women are getting raped, girl child is getting aborted, farmers are committing suicide and people here are worried about stolen tweets.