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I like my men like I like my sandwiches, big, cheap, shit, stinking, sweaty, horrible. Just fucking awful
when I have a new man over and I need to lay a 'brown egg', I shout "I'M SHITTING, I'M SHITTING" to cover up any plop sounds
'Sir we have a witness, claims to have seen you leaving Mcdonalds on all fours, with nuggets for eyes and Big Mac tits'
#ThatOnePersonWho is made of leaves and branches and stands silently in the corner of your room, watching you.
Ok today's gonna be a good day! *shits the bed so hard I go to turd prison forever*
Mother, come in, take a seat. *Opens 50 page Word document* Now, does it say 'Bullshit' anywhere on this Christmas list? No, I thought not.
#replacebandnameswithchrist I feel sick cause of booze and I've been masturbating
As a Businessman, I like to give my business associates a premium business experience. That's why I choose 'business'.
dear @nike I had a dream where one of your employees grabbed my breast deliberately. I will not be buying your products any more.
Sex? get outta here! Drugs? boring! Party? whatEVER! Music? what IS that even! All I need to stay fresh are these turds shaped like rat
Just something I wrote without thinking #illhueminati pic.twitter.com/ePtQddeiaM
A curd extracted from pig intestine, noxious aroma, meat vibrations give the illusion of smiling/talking. loves booze!
