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I really hope it's all of these evil pregnancy hormones making my BF totally annoying and not that he actually IS annoying. Fuck.
I'm sorry, sweetie, but if I actually cared about the state of your dick right now I would be touching it instead of eating ice cream.
I'm totally moving to Portland, OR cause Portlandia makes it seem like the coolest place ever and everything on TV is true/real, so yeah!
Be careful not to slip in the snail trail I'm leaving in my wake.
Having sex for over an hour during which my G-spot is stimulated the whole time is just as good as a 5 minute quickie with a clit orgasm.
My new BF has once again proven that it's all of you quiet, nerdy boys that will rock a girls world and make our legs shake. Well played.
Don't be an asshole to the cashiers at Walmart you assholes. We are people too.
Don't try to break my heart, I don't have one. I enjoy Percocet, razor blades, and sushi. I have a Zombie obsession. Fuck You.