Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Anyone interested in sitting on the porch with me and throwing things at kids with sagging pants??
As i watch this Tom Selleck commercial, I cant help but wonder if he can still smell the 80s pussy on his mustache.
I don't buy my followers, I earn and lose them one mediocre tweet at a time.
Just updated my Facebook status to "still horny, like if you want to see me drink too much and fuck one of your husband's" So far No likes.
The walk of shame is so much harder when u cant find your pants...
Yes McDonald's lady, I just gave u money from my bra....what the fuck did u expect when I rolled up to the window with no pants on?
A box is a single serving of wine right?
I am a star slut ...If u star me I'll follow without further Bio checks.. that's how I ended up following 2 rehabs, a cat and U fuckers.
Twitter...because who wants to read a book on your lunch break when you can hang out with the best fuckers on the planet..
So I'm writing a rap for my twitter crush... so far I have: vodka in my glass, no undies on my ass, call me!
Slutty Mcslut pants drank all the booze lastnight...now what am I going to mix in my coffee? Is it weird I call myself slutty Mcslut pants?
Inspirational tweet.....When in doubt, rub one out.
Walk of shame my ass...at this point I'd make the guy breakfast, give him a chest bump on the way out and stride home naked and smiling!
Twitter....where no one knows your real name but everyone knows you like your ass spanked.
Just looking for someone who dry humps me every time I'm bent over
If that's not true love, I don't know what is....
Twitter because Facebook friends don't "Like" my masturbation jokes.
Twitter, because who doesn't enjoy looking at strangers boobs and dicks while having your morning coffee.
Don't take anything I say here seriously, Fuck!! Tatts n hats are my kryptonite......I'm here for the laughs + free booze